lizzief

i am sam

2007-09-14T17:09:50Z

real good movie.

I miss skating.
And friends.

Why can't we have all migrated to cali?

Now it's just me, and a lot of confusion and emotion.

And friends that come and go. never staying long enough.

and then, alone again.

i think i'll just play and replay "on the road again" to try to comfort my travel lust. but it'll only make it worse. much worse.

I'm down

2007-09-08T21:13:29Z

with paint pens and no ideas.

being lonely.

eating banana pancakes

life's been nutz

2007-09-03T16:36:28Z

in a good way. washington was so good, spending time with friends.

dan's company was so fulfilling. I'm really sad that she's gone. on a greyhound, the worst place to leave a loved one. :(

so much to say i don't even know where to begin. so i wont.

just good company, good food, good/ridiculous asshole waves... bodyboarding, so fun.

my day off. birthday in 2 days. I'm so depressed :(

no growing old for me. :(

EUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH>

so much to do, but i'd rather eat blueberries

2007-08-16T16:00:44Z

UHHH, the past few days have been so insane. trying to get everything done with work and house and still skate and eat... ah.
in the mornings i've been eating blueberries in blueberry/pomegranate juice. and it gets like a slushi. so good.
two meetings today.AH!
no no no no no. so much to do before them. probably wont happen.
last night i had a really funny dream about a resident here calling and being really unclear (my most dreaded calls) and then asking me to come over and fold her laundry..

perfect song for the moment

2007-08-15T21:28:03Z

Days are cold and grey
it's hard to be away
but i guess that's what i meant when i said "i do"
and you said it too
i can't get used to this no matter how hard i try
but if it goes on too much longer
i'll probably die

just because i've been away so long
and just because i'm not that strong
just because a pretty woman turns me on
doesn't mean i'm gonna be a fool
and give up what i got with you

i miss your laughing lips
i miss your eyes and hips
do you miss me?
'cause i miss you.

i been away so long
right or wrong
sometimes i can't even sing a song
i'm comin' there
i'm just about gone
i'm gonna love you all night long

in a week or two
i'm coming home to you
and when i get back there's a lot of things
a lot of things we're gonna do

just because i've been away so long
and just because i'm not that strong
just because a pretty woman turns me on
doesn't mean i'm gonna be a fool
and give up what i got with you

i miss your laughing lips
i miss your eyes and hips
do you miss me?
'cause i miss you.

filled to the brim

2007-08-15T17:06:17Z

I'm coming home! see you soon, weirdos!

Don't haaaatee?!\\\

ohmanohmanohman.

it's like this.

people on drugs say the most interesting things.

GIRLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSS. get back here!

don' worry li'l hunnies. imma be there to give you some good good lovin'. real soon. dan, hurry your buns up. can't wait to molest.

i'm going to be pissed if i lose my job because of my age. people are always asking me how old i am and being so surprised when they find that a teenager is in charge of their property. HA. too bad. jeez.
all that means as far as i'm concerned is they now have someone naive and passionate about people enough to spend all of my time and energy on keeping them happy.

uhghhh.

can't wait til work is over. can't wait to skate. i have plenty to do before i go. better get started. laundry! why do i love doing laundry?

skateboarding

2007-08-11T16:25:52Z

so fun.
I've been skating almost every day for the past week. it's been SO long since i've skated and enjoyed. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. i love it.
landed some nollies and nollie180s and almost a few nollie bigspins over the gnar pyramid corner.
some pros were rippin'. park was crowded. some dude with crazy pop was there. doin' crazy poppy tricks over said pyramid and acting cocky.

lovin' life, have enough to pay the bills...this month. ha. uh oh.
can't complain.

lotta work to do.. but it's good.

better than never, better than without meaning

2007-08-10T22:10:03Z

almost 20 when I first started saying "i love you" to my family.
but now is the best time, because i mean it more than i ever could.
and i hopefully still have plenty of time to say it and show it.

wednesday was one of my worst days ever thus far. today was one of the most amazing.
work today has been perfect.
got a lot done. had iranian style tea with some new friends. (SO good!) and besides that sweet gesture, they gave me a present! - a bottle of wine and goodies from the rocky mountain chocolate factory!!! and they don't even know that's my FAVORITE place for sweets! also, like...allll the amazing people that live here came by today and were sweeties to me. i even got a 'thank you so much, lizzie!' yelled from the top floor balcony!

my boss was here for a few hours this morning, which, believe it or not, made things go VERY smooth. I like having him around once in a while, wish he'd come by more often.

ONE WEEEEEEK!
'nough said!

my nick names lately have been:
iranian lady - lovely (my personal favorite)
her husband - sweetheart
pokez waitress - sweetie
pokez waiter - darling
OB skater - ripper
bear - LB

me gusta

anyone else want to shit in my mouth?

2007-08-09T05:11:45Z

Work was so terrible today. Like, the worst ever.

long story short, i was told to tow vehicles, some with NO warning or notification whatsoever, and then deal with all the pissed off residents, one of whom stormed into my fucking house and tried to bitch me out.

anyways. i can't remember ever feeling this shitty, although i'm sure i have before.

i cried on the phone with my dad for 45 minutes. thank God for that, or I'd probably still be a total wreck.

NOT looking forward tomorrow.

skateboarding also made things much better.

WOW

2007-08-04T20:39:51Z

It's Saturday, I'm working, doing laundry, cleanup crew. oh man.

I get to see Lindsey and Jordan tonight or tomorrow. I'm super excited about this. Family time!!!

The bourne ultimatum was bomb! I'm probably going to like...marry him.

Life has been just amazing.

I could die and it would be alright.

I want to paint my place, but i've been scarred ever since we tried painting my bremerton basement house and it looked...well... like a bunch of teenage amateurs did it. brem paint crew!
:(

someone tried breaking into my place the other night. FREAKY. my door barely works now.
shudders*

I'm buying a baseball bat. or mace.

it's good that laundry day makes me happy. I'm still kind of a kid.

oooooooooooo

2007-08-04T04:35:00Z

Organic black mission figs + raw organic coconut butter = ooooooggggaaaaaanic(asm)
Apples told me about it a long time ago. finally tried it. just backs up my last post about fruit being my candy.

Also, believe it or not, work has been much more productive working on my own schedule. wow.
that's actually really weird.

how can this be real

2007-08-03T15:51:01Z

I have strategically engineered the most efficient and amazing way for me to work 8 hour days.
OUT OF MY HOUSE!
This is my first day trying this, and no one knows I'm doing it, so we'll see how long it last. but hopefully forever.
I get phone calls forwarded to my cell now.
I'm getting paid to 'be.

i am, not

2007-08-01T16:25:37Z

I am pro choice.
and I am pro life.
though I personally would choose life.
(but then again, maybe i'm not pro choice, because i don't believe killing an unborn child is much of a choice at all. i guess i'm pro choice in the sense that i strongly encourage you to choose to practice safe sex or abstinence.)

I am a vegetarian.
you see, i choose life everyday.

I am not big on drinking.
Because I think logically.
I don't like spending money on it alcohol..
which is toxic to the body,
tastes disgusting,
makes you gain weight,
makes you act stupid,
makes you puke,
makes you hungover,
makes you wonder where your weekends went.
makes you wonder why you're working 5 days a week, just to get drunk for 2, repeat, repeat, repeat.
makes you wonder.

I am not big on smoking
what's so attractive about it, again?
must be the
yellow teeth,
yellow skin,
black lungs,
smelly clothes, car, hands, life
or maybe it's just the whole 'dying young' thing that gets people.
is life really that bad?

In this day and age, with all the information we have, does it really make sense?

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I have friends who abuse both. And i've gotten drunk on occasion and smoked a few and i plan on a few more of both, but
I've definitely got better things to spend my time, money, and health on.
like friends, skating, and food.
or, if you wanna get deep,
like loving the earth and life on it.

whateva, just random thoughts.

I'm in love with life , the world is my t.v. ,

2007-08-01T04:52:51Z

and fruit is my candy.

that's okay if you think i'm boring,
i am who i choose to be,
at least i choose deliberately.

you can point your finger,
in fact, please do.
im glad to have the guts to live so true.
to myself, my thoughts, my passions, my stupidity.
i act it out, sometimes too quickly
but it's better than keeping it all inside for no one to see.

i'm living and i'm happy
i'm set, with no reason to worry
what more can a person ask for?

this journey is sick and we have it easy.
be stoked.
sharing is caring.
all i've got are hugs and love and laughter.

man this is really nice, to get it all out and appreciate everything.
I apologize if i've let you down. just let me know, 'cause i'm so ready to learn from my mistakes.
this world is crazy and distorted and i just want to go to the ocean, and the mountains and the forest. to be, at peace, in love.
I'm ready to embrace the hard times with the help of this quote: "we only experience joy in the amount we've experienced pain."
Here I am. Ready to live. To the absolute fullest.
1,2,3 who's with me?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!

why wouldn't i be glad

2007-08-01T04:23:47Z

among other amazing things in my life, I just ate an entire bowl of mac n cheese and havn't puked yet.

we'll see how tonight goes, hopefully i wont have to (attempt to) sleep sitting up to avoid puking.

but really..

we make it what it is. and i'm in love.

so busy, so surrounded

2007-07-30T21:48:22Z

yet so bored and alone.
beck can agree.

I think today I will do minimal work, go to the beach, eat good food, and miss good friends.

This month is going to be NUTZZZZZ!

- New work schedule starts Aug. 1st... 8 hour days?! oh no!

- August 3rd - Bourne Ultimatum!!! oh shit, can't wait!

- 4th - Tum Yeto sale... skate goods for days. So THIS is what credit cards are for!

- 5th - Fatty ginger has her PUPPIES???? I hope

- 10th - money money money!!!

- 17th - DAAAANNNNNN and band takes me back to the great northwest to the ones i love.

-in between...NOTHIN BUT LOVE!
-bamboo garden, family and friends, longboarding, skateboarding, oregon camp/surf/love roadtrip, seattle/brem ferry, redmond park, burien park, mega skate parks, CARAMEL APPLES!, kevy, hopefully, otis the kitten, m-m-m-MARCIA!, TFBC OHHHHHHH!, crazy dance, maybe some drinkin', WHATEVAAAAAAAA!

- 26th - Dan and I get to ride greyhound steeze back to so cal

- Sipz Fuzion cafe!, OB peoples, OB skatepark, BE-ACH, sun, fun, swimmin', OH MAN.

does anyone know when dan leaves sd to go back to wa? i hope not til the 3rd?!

my subconcious

2007-07-28T23:20:18Z

is where it's at.

what to do when your luck is through.?

I'm going to be working TwICE as much and making the SAME amount of money, and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. it's my own stupid fault to take my previous situation for granted and not realizing that making $2800 salary for 20 hours a week was living well. but now i appreciate it. bad timing, but oh well. a lesson well learned.

eucalyptus

2007-07-27T07:27:00Z

kinda like niggaliptis, but not at all.

SO. I just learned that Eucalyptus oil becomes pure oxygen when diffused into the air!!!!!!!!!!! why am i sO DAMN STOKED about that?! So i bought some and mixed it with grapefruit oil and my house and car smell so good. oh man.

Work has been just crazy. I almost plan on getting fired, but I'll stay above water as long as possible. I really actually like working here. a lot.

I didn't get to skate today, but it was good anyways.

Visalia camp, here we come. tum yeto, here we come. WA lovebugs, here I come. CA goodweather, here we come. bills - please disappear.

Dan, are you planning on bringing your board to CA? I meant to call you today. Tomorrow, if my phone starts working again.

swamped

2007-07-25T23:05:18Z

seriously. I'm SWAMPED at work. i honestly thought that's something i wouldn't have to say 'til i was like 35.
uhg. i'm falling behind. so much to do. it never ends. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
it really sucks when people have illegible handwriting.
i can't wait 'til things calm down.
i want to be chillin' with girls club right now.
beck, call me. let me know what's up with amtrak or greyhound. I'm curious.
cant wait to see you crazy girls.
oh
my
God.
it will be like heaven.

Up north

2007-07-20T23:34:42Z

oh what?! WASHINGTON. I'm coming home, babes! that's right.

be ready.

TFBC, I'm coming home, baby. mama's coming. it's gonna be love.

LOVE.

Let's do this.

I cannot wait. ohhhhh shit. yea.

it's not attractive

2007-07-20T00:40:46Z

to complain about a sore back when you're only 19.
This is depressing. Today is my Friday and I have no weekend plans, no friends to hang out with, uhhhhg.
I guess I'll go skate. And try to eat at people's. I miss my loves.
i had a dream tat beck, marcia, stephen(steven)?, and brandon lived here in SD and went to the beach at night and got mugged because i didn't warn them to not bring their wallets. and also, they asked if i wanted to go, but i was soOO tired (in my dream) so i opted out..and when i woke up i was so bummed at myself for not going with them 'cause i miss them so much and would have been stoked even to see them in my dream.

ain't no sunshine.

2007-07-16T01:48:47Z

all I'm capable of feeling right now is hurt.

BUT.

FORTUNATELY this is true:

We only experience happiness in the amount we've experienced pain.

I believe it.

am i putting it off, or just prolonging it?

bother.

knock on some

2007-07-15T16:57:03Z

one else's door. it's sunday morning. shit. and if/when i do come to the door all disgruntled and messyhaired and half dressed, don't start your intro with "oh i hope i'm not bothering you", or "i hate to stop by this early". - you obviously ARE bothering me, and if you REALLY hate to stop by this early, then DON'T.

another thing not to do. walk right into my condo - my personal living space, and then be offended when the stupid little dogs bark at you. also, don't act unphased by their attack ops and pet them til they pee on my couch or carpet. you'll notice that if you pet them without asking, I'll strongly encourage you to pick them up, so they pee all over your shit, instead of mine. your welcome.

grumpy morning, my apologies.

breaking up is equally as hard to do

2007-07-15T10:48:46Z

and also makes waking up much harder.
sleepless in san diego. not wanting to move on, and just hate that it's inevitable. nothing i can do about, all we do is argue, all he cares about are his dogs and money. As selfish as this sounds, I miss when all he cared about was me. At least it was real love then. the craziest, most amazing, truest, deepest love. I don't know what it is now.
He's fallen out of love, and I'm not far behind him. unsinkable ships sink and unbreakable walls break.
No one is just like the guy I love, not even him anymore. now that sucks.

waking up is hard to do

2007-07-14T23:41:09Z

afternoon nap that i wish was never ending. in my dream, everything was perfect, somehow, no one had a face or skin color. and everything was worry-free. i wonder if it was a little taste of heaven. ? i hope.
okay.
go out and dream.
dream of wonderful things.